


Another Shot of Whiskey

by crowleyhasfeels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 01:52:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9268427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowleyhasfeels/pseuds/crowleyhasfeels
Summary: Dean and Castiel celebrate graduating high school and heading off to college. With a little bit of whiskey in their system, they learn that goodbyes are harder when feelings get involved.





	1. Whiskey and Goodbye

Dean set the bottle of whiskey down on the nightstand and groaned. He could feel the alcohol coursing through his body, making it feel both on fire and freezing, all at the same time. So, was he melting or was he heating up? Was he an ice cube set on fire or a flame put out in the cold? Either way, he could tell that he was no longer himself. The alcohol was making him something different, something better.

            “I feel funny,” Castiel let out a soft laugh, pushing his legs out across the bed. “I think that I like whiskey.”

            “Figured you might,” Dean smiled over at his best friend.

            Castiel and Dean had been best friends their entire life. They were completely different people though. Dean was a joke, captain of the football team, dated cheerleaders and made grades just good enough to be able to receive a sports scholarship to University of Notre Dame. He was going to be a Fighting Irish. Then there was Castiel. Castiel was smart, no, Castiel was a genius. He had always been a straight A student and top of the class. In a week, he would be giving the Valedictorian speech at their graduation, then it was off to John Hopkins. Castiel was going to be a doctor.

            But that was the problem. They were different and now, they were going to different colleges. They were going to be just a little over nine hours away from each other. They had promised to make the trip as often as they could to see each other, but Dean knew that it was unlikely. In a few short months, they were going to see less and less of each other. Dean was not ready for that to happen.

            “Shouldn’t we be celebrating on graduation night?” Castiel questioned. He had never drunk more than a beer before but Dean convinced him that they needed to celebrate.

            “Nah man,” Dean reached over and grabbed the bottle again, taking a sip before handing it off to Castiel, who gratefully took it. “Graduation night will be filled with other people. I wanted a night for just us to celebrate.”

            “Good thinking,” Castiel handed the bottle back to Dean and then worked to pull himself up and sit himself against the headboard. “Dean?”

            “Yeah, Cas?” Dean looked up at his best friend, his heart racing at the sight and also aching for what he was about to lose.

            “Are you excited for college?” Castiel asked, looking out over the room.

            “Yeah,” Dean nodded, looking over Castiel’s face. “I guess.”

            “That does not sound very convincing,” Castiel chucked, finally bringing his eyes down to look at Dean. “I think you are perfect for college.”

            “Why is that?” Dean never really pictured him the college guy at all. If it was not for the fact that he was great at football, he more than likely would not be attending. He always pictured himself becoming a mechanic like his dad, and who knows, that could still be in his future.

            “Parties, football,” Castiel moved his hands about, as if images of what he was saying were floating in front of him. “Lots of girls.”

            “Yeah,” Dean frowned. Even Castiel could see that Dean was nothing more than a dumb jock. “What is not to be excited about?”

            “I will miss you,” Castiel finally spoke, though it sounded as if he had not really intended to say it or that he was not saying directly to Dean.

            “Yeah?” Dean turned himself to face Castiel, holding himself up on his arm. “But you are going to be all Mr. Big Shot over at John Hopkins.”

            “I have never been a big shot,” Castiel shook his head, his look going from happy to sullen. “That has always been you.”

            “Well now you are going to be the big shot and I,” Dean moved his eyes away from Castiel’s. “I am going to just be another stupid jock with a sports scholarship, who parties and sleeping with a bunch of girls.”

            “Dean,” Castiel’s voice was stern and Dean could not help but look back up at him, their eyes locking. Castiel’s blue eyes seemed to glow with intensity. “You are not stupid.”

            “Maybe not,” Dean shook his head. “But I am nothing extraordinary.”

            “Again,” Castiel shook his head, moving himself down to be at face level with Dean. “You are wrong.”

            “Don’t, Cas. Don’t try and convince me that I am super smart of some shit.”

            “I wasn’t. But you are not stupid and you are incredibly extraordinary.”

            “How so?”

            “You are the most charming, fearless, inventive man I have ever met.”

            “Met a lot of men have you?”

            “Very funny,” Castiel laughed. “But I mean it Dean. If you weren’t this man, I wouldn’t…”

            “You wouldn’t what?” Dean raised his eyebrow with his question.

            “Nothing,” Castiel reached over Dean and tried to grab the whiskey bottle, but Dean stopped him, pulling him back down against the bed.

            “No,” Dean held his arm so that he could not move away again. “What were you going to say? If I was not the man I am, you wouldn’t what?”

            “Be,” Castiel tried not to make eye contact with Dean but Dean forced it upon him. “Be in love with you.”

            Before Castiel could say another word, Dean pressed his lips roughly against his lips. Dean had been in love with Castiel for as long as he could remember but he had always been too scared to say anything about it. Now they were about to be separated forever and he learns that Castiel feels the same way about him.

            “Fuck,” Dean pulled back, wiping his hand over his eyes, trying to push away the tears that were starting to fall. “This is not how this was supposed to work.”

            “I don’t understand,” Castiel cocked his head to the side, not fighting back his emotions the way that Dean was trying to. “How was this supposed to work?”

            “We were supposed to get drunk and say our goodbyes and talk about the good times,” Dean sat himself up and crawled off the bed. He wanted to leave but he couldn’t, this was his room, and he very well couldn’t ask his drunk best friend to leave either. “We weren’t supposed to confess our undying love for each other.”

            “For each other?” Castiel pulled himself up into a sitting position, eyes never leaving Dean. It was then that Dean realized he had not really admitted his feelings to Castiel, not in the same way that Castiel had.

            “Yeah,” Dean shoved his hands into his pockets. “For each other.”

“Do you love me, Dean?”

“I,” Dean struggled to bring the words, that he had been burying for years, to the surface. “I have always … loved you.”


	2. Graduation and Changes

            Dean and Castiel had not talked about their drunken night. They went back to doing what they had always done, though Dean could admit, things were a little different between them. It was always like they had something to say but could never bring themselves to say it. So, that was it. They had admitted their feelings, got it out into the open, and now they could move on.

            “I am so nervous,” Castiel went on again. He was not good at talking in front of people and now he was supposed to give this giant speech? “You should give the speech for me. You are good with talking in front of people.”

            “You will do great,” Dean straightened the cap on Castiel’s head.

            “What if I don’t?” Castiel was so nervous; he was shaking.

            “Look for me,” Dean suggested.

            “What?” Castiel cocked his head to the side in his normal fashion and Dean’s heart skipped a beat.

            “Look for me,” Dean clarified. “Give me your speech. Forget about everyone else.”

            “Okay,” Castiel nodded with a smile. “Okay.”

            Graduation began and Dean was already bored. He was not one for sitting around and listening to a bunch of people talk. First, Mr. Crowley, the principal, gave a long speech about how he was happy to have helped molded such wonderful minds, which was a load of shit. Then some guest speaker, from some business Dean had never heard of, went on and on about how they could be whoever they wanted to be if they put their minds to it. Again, more crap.

            But then Castiel stepped up to the podium and Dean felt himself sit up straight. Sure, he hated speeches but he had promised to be there for this one, to really be there. This speech was not for them, this speech had to be for him.

            “Fellow students, faculty and parents, welcome.” Castiel’s face scanned the crowd of faces until he found Dean, a small smile spreading across his face. His speech seemed to get a lot less shaky after that. Dean was not really sure what was being said, but he was sure it was good. Then it took another turn, one he had not expected.

            “I never fit in.” Castiel continued in his speech. “I have never fit in actually and I never wanted to. I have always been happy being in the background, watching the world around me take place. Luckily for me, I have a best friend who lives in the spotlight. This has given me the chance to see the world in different ways. All in all, that has taught me one thing: There are a million different ways to see the same picture. When you step out into the world beyond high school, it is the same world, no matter which feet you are standing on. How you see the world is what changes from person to person. So, if you ever find yourself looking at the world and it is not what you wanted it to be, change your perspective. You are the only thing you have control over and your life is not set in stone. Change happens when you will it.”

            Castiel went on more about change and how you have to be the change in the world, instead of actually trying to change the world. Dean was proud of his best friend. Not only did he give the speech without a problem, the speech was also pretty damn awesome.

            “You did incredible,” Dean told Castiel when he found him after the ceremony.

            “You think so?” Castiel beemed at him.

            “I know so,” Dean promised. “I was there. Don’t argue with me.”

            “Thank you, Dean,” Castiel pulled his friend into a hug, one that lasted longer than it would have in the past.

            “Dean, Cas,” they pulled apart at the sound of their names and turned to see Dean’s parents approaching them. “Let me get a picture of you boys.”

            Dean and Cas stood side by side, arms up over the shoulder of the other and smiled for the camera. This was it.

            A million pictures later and they were changed, on their way to the end of year party that had been in the works almost all of their senior year. The entire town knew that it was happening, so no cops would be called. That and there would be no drunk driving. A bunch of adults in the town had volunteered to play cabby. If someone was drunk and needed to get home, they would get home safely.

            “To college,” Benny, one of Dean’s other best friends raised his beer in the air and screamed.

            “To college,” the rest of the room erupted into cheers and clinking glasses. All except for Dean and Castiel. For some reason, neither of them were in the mood to party.

            “Can I talk with you?” Castiel asked Dean. “In private?”

            “Sure thing,” Dean nodded, nodding his head in the direction of a door. Dean knew this place better than Castiel, being as it was Benny’s house and Dean had been here many times.

            “Where are we going?” Castiel questioned as the approached a closed door with a sign that read ‘off limits.’

            “Basement,” Dean laughed, pulling the door open and allowing for Castiel to step inside. “Which just happens to be Benny’s room. Off limits to the party, so we can be alone.”

            Once they were down stairs, Dean threw himself down on the couch and propped his feet up onto the coffee table. He then patted the couch, motioning for Castiel to sit down beside him. “What is on your mind Cas?”

            “I,” Castiel made his way across the room but did not sit down next to Dean, instead, he stood in front of him. “I made a change.”

            “Yeah?” Dean raised an eyebrow curiously. “What kind of change?”

            “As you know, I got accepted into twelve colleges,” Castiel seemed to fidget on his feet.

            “Rub it in,” Dean laughed.

            “Dean,” Castiel said in his gravelly voice, taking the laughter out of Dean’s.

            “What?” Dean hated this little thing they had going. Normally, they just said what was on their mind. Now it was a constant ‘beat around the bush’ sort of thing. It was not them. “What did you change Cas?”

            “Colleges,” Castiel tried to smile but was not sure if this was a smiling situation anymore. “I changed colleges.”

            “What do you mean you changed colleges?” Dean sat up straight and ran his hands down his jean covered thighs. “You are going to John Hopkins. You have been super excited about it for months now.”

            “I was super excited about it,” Castiel nodded in agreement. “But it was missing something that I needed my college to have, so I switched colleges.”

            “Okay,” Dean seemed to understand the logic in this but was not sure what it all meant. “So where are you going to college then?”

            “Notre Dame,” Castiel looked away, not ready to see the look of shock on Dean’s face.

            “What?” Dean shook his head. “What could Notre Dame be missing that John Hopkins doesn’t have?”

            “You,” Castiel brought his eyes back down to look at Dean. “John Hopkins doesn’t have you.”

            Dean was dumbstruck. Castial had changed colleges for him. Castiel had been excited about John Hopkins for months but had wanted to go there so much longer. John Hopkins was the dream and Dean had ruined his dream.

            “I can’t let you do that,” Dean went to stand up but Castiel pushed Dean back against the couch before climbing onto Dean and straddling his lap. “Cas?”

            “I already made the change,” Castiel pressed himself against Dean and Dean could feel himself getting hard. He had not even been drinking and here he was, hard and completely unable to control himself.

            “But John Hopkins is your dream,” Dean tried to argue, though his voice caught in his throat a few times.

            “Got a new dream,” Castiel was quick to answer, lowering his face so that they were only a few inches apart.

            “Yeah?” Dean’s breath caught and so his words exited his body with a squeak but he was too worked up to be embarrassed by it. “What dream would that be?”

            “The one where I get to kiss you every day,” Castiel smiled at Dean before leaning forward and pressing a soft brief kiss to his lips.

            “Every day?” Dean was struggling with words.

            “Forever,” Castiel nodded, kissing Dean softly once again.

            “Forever,” this time it was not a question and Dean nodded in agreement.

            “Forever,” Castiel said once more before crashing his lips against Dean’s.

            Everything happened in a blur. Lips moved from lips to necks to collar bones. Hands were all over and before Dean realized what was going on, they were naked on Benny’s couch. Benny was going to kill him but Dean could not bring himself to care. He had dreamed about the day that he would have Castiel naked, straddling his lap.

            “I am not prepared for this,” Dean broke away from Castiel’s mouth to speak but was soon kissing him again.

            “We don’t have to fuck,” Castiel told Dean. “That doesn’t mean we can’t have fun though.”

            “Yeah?” Dean smiled against Castiel’s mouth. “What kind of fun.”

            “The kind of fun I have been wanting to have for a very long time,” Castiel’s smile took over his entire face.

            Castiel kissed Dean again for a few minutes but then soon climbed off of Dean’s lap. This caused Dean to let out a whine, he was not ready for Castiel to stop touching him. But Castiel had other things in mind, as he dropped down to his knees and pushed his way between Dean’s legs.

            “May I?” Castiel looked from Dean, down to his cock and then back up at Dean again.

            “Oh, fuck yes,” Dean breathed out and before he could grasp himself, Castiel’s mouth was wrapped firmly around Dean’s cock. Dean almost came right there but thankfully, he held on.

            Castiel was a pro. Dean was not sure how many cocks Castiel had sucked in his lifetime but this could not be the first time. The way he bobbed his head around Dean’s cock and slowly dragged his teeth along the underside was something out of a porn movie. Dean would be the first to admit that he had gotten a lot of head in his life but this … this was truly something different.

            “Fuck,” Dean growled, bringing his hand down and running it through Castiel’s hair. Castiel moaned at the feeling of Dean’s hand on his head.

            Castiel looked up and locked eyes with Dean and gave him a nod. He knew what Dean liked, because Dean had told him before and here he was giving Dean permission.

            “Are you sure?” Dean questioned, not wanting to push Castiel further than he wanted to go but Castiel only nodded again. “Fuck!”

            Dean grabbed on gently to Castiel’s hair and held him into place. He took a few breathes, nerves coursing through his body. He could not believe he was about to fuck Cas’ mouth. Finally, Cas groaned around Dean’s cock and Dean thrust up into Castiel’s mouth. Cas’ eyes watered and he did not break eye contact with Dean. Dean pulled himself back and then thrust in again, eliciting a moan from Castiel.

            “Is this okay?” Dean asked after a few thrusts, not wanting to hurt Castiel. Castiel simply nodded and Dean continued, fucking himself repeatedly up into Castiel’s mouth.

            Dean thrusts began to be more jagged as the intense feeling grew in his stomach. He knew that he was about to cum and because of the situation, he figured Castiel would not mind if he came in his mouth. But he quickly warned him, letting him know it was about to happen. In that moment, Castiel reached forward and held down Dean’s hips, taking control. He bobbed down, taking all of Dean’s cock into his mouth and wrapped his free hand firmly around Dean’s balls.

            “Shit, shit, shit,” Dean cried out as he came harder than he had ever come in his entire life.

            It took some time for Dean to come down from his orgasm high but soon he was partially back in reality. Though he was aware of what was happening around him, he felt like his body was somewhere else completely.

            “That was,” Dean tried to form words as he looked down at Castiel who was smiling up at him.

            “Oh, I know,” Castiel laughed, pointing down between them to show the cum the pooled on the floor. Castiel had cum, just from making Dean get off. Something about that made Dean’s heart flutter.

            “Fuck,” Dean took a deep breath, trying to gain full control of himself. “I …”

            “I know,” Castiel could see Dean struggle with the words. Dean knew that he felt them but saying them out loud was still new and Dean was horrible with expressing his emotions out loud. “I love you too.”


End file.
